The Battery” has a tendency to make its way onto horror movie watch lists. The list writers write pay-off lines like: “see it as soon as possible”!

I would rather put it on a list of horror movies to avoid as this movie is awful, making its way onto our list: So bad, it’s terrible!


Two former baseball players, Ben (Jeremy Gardner) and Mickey (Adam Cronheim) cut a purposeless path across an abandoned New England. They stick to the back roads and forests to steer clear of zombies that patrol the once lively cities and towns. To survive, they must overcome the differences in each other’s personalities. Ben embraces a feral, lawless, and wandering lifestyle while Mickey cannot accept the severe realities of the new world and longs for the luxuries, he once took for granted (a bed, a girl, and a safe place to live). When the men intercept a radio transmission from a flourishing, protected community, Mickey will stop at nothing to find it, even though it’s clear that he is not welcome.

The Battery 2012

From the synopsis of The Battery, the movie sounded like something I would like, as I am an avid horror movie fan.

Alas, in the hands of a better writer and more competent director, this might have worked and turned into a pretty good horror movie. From research into the movie, it turns out the budget was about $6000 (around R90437,31), which shows. Someone did the zombie makeup – not a make-up artist, though. I also guess that the zombie actors were friends and family, with no acting experience.

There is a saying in the film industry that when you’re starting out to make movies, never start with a drama. The Wiki entry said that the film was filmed – “seat of the pants” – which shows.

For someone who wants to like The Battery, when most of the reviews of the movie are positive; I feel like an outsider. The film just felt loose. The film was just plain boring. There’s not much I can remember from the movie – I kept thinking to myself when watching “let’s give it another 10 minutes, it’s going to get good. People on the Internet could not be wrong, could they?” Unfortunately, they were.

Conclusion: Avoid at all costs! If it shows on TV one night and nothing better is on, turn your TV off and read a book.